this year is coming to a close, but there are just so many things left unsaid.
even though on the outside im like omggg, yayyy no school!, im gonna miss these people. i feel like this is the opposite of the way i felt last year because all i can remember is wanting to get away from all that dumb drama. but, this year i got past all of that (or i hope i did) and i just started enjoying people without worrying about things that wont matter at all in 2 years.
im gonna miss all these people. or maybe just a few, but still. and id love to say that i’ll hang out with them over the summer, but in reality, it cant all happen.
and also a few of my friends like zack and jack and others are leaving. theyre just leaving. i dont know if im ever going to see them again and that just scares me. theyve each been such an awesome part of my life this year and now that theyll be gone, so will with our inside jokes and our familiarity. and the way we greet each other and the way we complain about all of our teachers/classes with each other.
thats what im really going to miss, the connections i have with people. and ya i know its just 2 months. but ALOT can happen in 2 months. people will grow (hopefully the guys lol), change, grow apart, etc. theres no knowing what the summer and next year will hold. so, i guess im just going to miss how it is right now.
and reading ashley’s tumblr post made me realize that all of the relationships and groups and etc. people make during these 4 years are not gonna matter in jusr 2 years, yet some make it their goal to appear perfect. if anything, that would be the biggest and best truth ive learned this year. its exactly what i needed to know freshman year, but i think that in order to become strong, you have to get beat down sometimes.
another thing ive realized this year is that if people strive to get themselves to the top and get there, theres only so long that will last. because theres nowhere to go but down.
2 days left and i want to enjoy these days. im gonna miss some of you so much. but omg, were moving up :D
ive wished for so many so many things to happen this school year, and they havent. 4 days left….im tired of waiting. there have been so many people that ive wanted to hug, talk to, dance with, kiss, become friends with, yell at, impress etc. but ive just been too damn scared.
there’s just 4 days left, and i might as well make some of these things happen. its not like ive got anything to lose.
you should too, 4 days till summer. take some chances.
so i was looking through my old fb picutures and stuff and i seriously cannot remember ever writing those comments, i feel like im reading someone else’s comments….who was i? cus id realllyyyyy like to know.
wow nigeria is sucking, theyre making it wayyyy to easy for argentina! I think my dad’s about to cry; it would be realllllll nice for at least a tie.
anyways on a personal side of it, things never seem to go the way i think they should cus i totally think nigeria should win…but i might be wrong. hence the name of my tumblr. its one of may favorite songs by radiohead, give it a listen, but im not gonna lie, most people dont seem to like anything off that album (named amnesiac). most people dont seem to like anything thats a bit off of the norm. not saying that radiohead is strange, its not to me, but its leagues away from the trash, i mean music played on 99.5..if you dont want to give the song a listen at least look at the lyrics:
I might be wrong I might be wrong I could’ve sworn I saw a light coming on
I used to think I used to think There was no future left at all I used to think
Open up, begin again Let’s go down the waterfall Think about the good times and never the bad Never the bad
What would I do? What would I do? If I did not have you
Open up and let me in Let’s go down the waterfall Have ourselves a good time, it’s nothing at all It’s nothing at all Nothing at all
Never look back Never look back
…cus you never know, they could mean more to you than you would ever think
if your status or a wall post is informing someone to send you a text im just assuming here that YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE THEIR FREAKING NUMBER SO WHY THE fuck ARE YOU SHOWING THE WHOLE WORLD. SERIOUSLY, SINCE YOU HAVE THEIR TELEPHONIC CODE, WHICH WHEN ENTERED,WILL INSTANTLY CONNECT THEM TO YOU, THEN JUST TEXT THEM YOURSELF. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE shitLOADS OF FRIENDS, and concerning the status updates: I BET NO ONE WILL TEXT YOU, dumb hoessssssssss.
okgoodnightIneedsleep, NIGERIA PLAYS TOMORROWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…..but theyre gonna lose, damn argentina.
hmmm, i usually dont like paramore songs on a deep level, but for some reason, this song makes me think. before you read this, give it a listen if that would be pleasing to your inner ear.
what i like about the song is: the drums at the beginning, i just loveeeee that beat; its so striking and unavoidable….that probably makes no sense to you..
also this part: “you’re pushing and pulling me down to you. but i dont know what i want.”, just this part cus the whole song is, in my opinion, about liking someone that you know you shouldnt like, but what i personally take from that line is that you cant help but like them, but you might also like someone else so you dont know what you want.
thats what I think. i mean is it really bad to like two people at the same time? cus the heart wants what the heart wants, sometimes you just cant help it.
and the title kills me bcus it strikes me as a guilty thing, and i dont like that.
hmm, i think the funniest thing about this song is that i found out about it through the Twilight soundtrack…which is SURPRISINGLY EXCELLENT. no seriously, and the New Moon soundtrack is just magical…dont judge me.
i dont even know where to begin. im confused about (insert private info here). i just cannot read the signs, if there are any. i hope that its in my favor, but who knows. if for just 30 seconds i could be all-knowing, that would be awesome or incredibly scary. anyways, back to (insert private info here). (insert private info here) makes me smile, but so does (insert private info here). hmmmmmmmmmm, i can never telllll. but i think (insert private info here) would be better, but both are real nice.
sometimes when i sit down and think about allll of the crap that has happened with my family in the past few years it baffles me. from my parents seperating, to divorce, to leaving my dream house and moving 3 times, my sister going to college, me coming to tj and etc. I just dont truly know how i got through alll of it. its just ridiculous. like, i dunno how many of you have gone through a divorce situation where you parents fight all the time, etc etc. but if u hav, you know how hard it is. and me and my siblings kind of deal with it in different ways, but upfront its anger. i know that at school i might not seem angry. but when i get angry, im angry. theres just so much to deal with this easiest thing is to just yell at everyone rather than facing it.
if you have no idea what im talking about, consider yourself blessed beyond belief. and im not saying im blessed, because is am SOOOO blessed to have come as far as i have amidst all of my family’s changes, but its still hard and i just hope that if u feel like life is so hard if you get grounded or something like that, just take a step back and think of all the things that are going right in your life. bcus thatll make you stronger. if you just live in a shallow world not realizing that some serious shit happens to people, you are gonna get hit sooo hard when something goes wrong and thats the worst part.
man i need some sleeeeep,damn insomnia.
^ like seriously i havent slept through a full night in months. something always wakes me up; its been like this since 7th grade. hmmmm
omggg i cannot believe i did it! i didnt think i would. i ran against 4 people for BSU president and i wonnnnnnn. ahhhh, im so overjoyed but alsooooo i hav so much responsibility nowwwww. omggg i using wayyyy tooooo manyyyy letterrrsssss, but this is how i express joy lol. thank youuuu jesusss, woooo!