so i just had a long convo will my old neighbor’s mom. they moved to florida in february cus richard, the dad, got a job there. after debating whether to just have richard move their alone and travel back and forth, they all decided to move togther because who wouldn’t want to live in florida. its the sunshine state!!! well sorta. philip’s (philip is my old neighbor) mom stood outside my door while we conversated and by the end, I realized just how lucky we are here despite how shitty it seems. philip’s mom described florida as gorgeous-looking with beautiful sunsets, the beach 15 minutes away and Disney World 40 minutes away. However, underneath the shiny tourist-ridden surface, lies some things that are quite off. For one thing, she said that the private schools there are like public schools here. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but before i could even ask, she said that their public schools are like jungles. Down there, the focus is on sports only comparable to the movies, in her opinion. For an example we can relate to, getting into George Mason is extremely notable and JMU is considered a reach for many students. That shocked me. She said that from VA to FL the standards dropped so much. The same standard drop can also be seen in community life. There, philip’s family rents a five bedroom house with a pool for $1800 a month. That is the same amount if rent that my mom pays for our apartment. Even though it’s considered a high end apartment apparently, that is still insane and slightly awkward lol. Anyways, philip’s mom also said that when they moved in, there was mold all over their master bedroom wall. She continued on to say that in general, the construction was just shoddy in comparison to VA, regardless of whether it’s a simple apartment or not. Their community is made up of very few people and she described it as a small country club. There, just one asian person sticks out like a sore thumb. That is obviously a drastic change from here in NOVA. Even worse in her opinion is the blatant close-minded racism of those in her community. Whether its because, they are not used to a grand variety of races or not, their logic is repulsive in her opinion. For example, their homeowner is indian and many neighbors blame their house’s faults on the the fact, in their minds, that all indians are cheap. When philip’s family hears these judgments, they are repulsed. Florida is almost the complete opposite of VA in a bad way. They want to move back, but obviously that costs a large amount of money and work. Hello sunshine state; maybe too much of a good thing really is bad.
junior year. this was one of the hardest years that i can remember. not academically, but with all the emotion and stigma associated with junior year and the realization that what we did actually had an impact on our future, it took a toll. besides the difficulty, academic-wise, it was also a very exciting time with many turning points in my life. like starting to legit party and having all my friends drive and becoming closer and more comfortable with my friends and not giving the same amount of fucks to what people thought of me and having a nice hc date and learning how to not procrastinate and having to deal with my first legit bad teacher at tj and learning how to cope with good friends that moved away and the first stable-ish year since my parents divorced and blahblahblah. i felt like this was a milestone year in the ways listed above and more. i feel like ive changed. whether ive matured or not is debatable, but i feel like im not the same naive dumb girl that entered into freshman year giving lots of fucks about what people thought. yeah i guess if i had stayed with the same group, my life may have seemed better, but the keyword is seemed. looking back, i feel like i have more fun with the people i hang out with now. so maybe all the drama from freshman year was worth it. or not. but i feel like it gave me tougher skin and shit.
anyways, back to this school year. well i also managed to get okay-ish grades in classes that i thought i did badly on. like frenchh. omfg. how did i pull that up. its things like that that make last year also memorable because i feel like when i legit worked hard, i got good results so i guess im not stupid, just lazy. so im going to try to work hard all 1st semester so i can get good results. i just wana get into a good college and shit and it wont be because im black all you people who’ve said that to me. shut the fuck up. i deserve wherever i get into and if u dnt get into the same place, tough fucking luck dude.
anyways, some memorable things this year were guy-related duhh. lol well i, sure some of you know of one. and it was talked about for fucking ever. but only cus said person is racist as fuck. but thats kind of cool and i guess its just a part of party history lol. i hope that didnt sound conceited, im just talkin bout my shit. anyways so another guy related thing is something that im not proud of. it has nothing to do with partying sort of. but anyways, i felt like this year i wasted so much time liking this guy when deep down i knew it wuld never work out and once i got to know him more i found out that i dont even like him that much cus he acts like a woman. lol. otherwise, the whole boy thing last year was interesting and def fun and memorable. but boys are annoying and stupid so watevss.
also last year i feel like i made stronger connections with lots of people while also disconnecting with some. and that is so bittersweet. but i guess ill always miss someone or something so its not like it matters. and it makes those little moments when you reconnect with someone you used to know so well even sweeter.
i feel like this year, i also learned how to have more fun. the basic formula is to not give a single fuck, make yourself, laugh at everything and everyone, act dumb for one, be stupid, focus on the small details and not the big picture, dont think about consequences unless they involve something like pregnancy, surround yourself with people who make you laugh, dont hang out with people who dont entertain you, let people call you weird, enjoy every single moment, dont get phased by other actions and/or fake laughter, fuck bitches, get hos, etc.
but in all seriousness, junior year was one of the hardest and funnest and weirdest school years of my life and i hope and feel that next year is going to be fucking badass. im going to miss all my seniors, but now its our time. i honestly just cant wait to really not give a fuck. 2012, here we come.